Like Shattered Glass
by castielslittlebitch
Summary: Remus Lupin Is abused, physically and verbally, by the very people that are supposed to protect him Sirius Black is the Lupin's neighbor, newly moved in, and notices that something isn't exactly 'right' with the Lupin family. AU. Details inside.
1. Chapter 1

It feels like it's been awhile since I wrote a Harry Potter fanfic, even though it's only really been two months or something like that. But anyways, after finishing 'Eternity Lasts Forever' and writing other stuff, this idea came and exploded everywhere in my head. (Great visual)

Oh yeah, and in this AU, Muggles and the Wizarding World live together and know about each other. So, Muggles know about dementers and wizards/witches know the purpose of a rubber ducky. Also, Remus is 18, and Sirius is 22. I also have no idea when Remus and Sirius were born, so I just made that up as well. Voldemort isn't in power, and the Marauders are all still very much alive; they just haven't found their wife/husband's yet, and they don't each other.

***WARNING*** This story will also contain language, violence, blood, self-harm, suicidal thoughts/actions, abuse, and gay romance. If you don't like, then please don't read and drop a review on how much you hate how I wrote in one of the above. The romance won't be heavy, and it starts off as a parental relationship and ends up going into a Wolfstar relationship. And it might be a bit dark.

Disclaimer- Nope, nope, and nope. Don't own, never will.

oXXXwsXXXo

December 27th, 1995

2:37 p.m.

The woman has light brown hair that's damp with sweat, skin pale and sheened with perspiration, breathing slowly returning to normal, heart racing. Her eyes have happiness and energy bursting in them, and the smile hasn't left her face yet.

The man has dark hair, and his hands shake with extra nerves and excitement and adrenaline from racing into the hospital. His eyes are a soft brown, and he stands next to the hospital bed containing his wife. He tries to hide the smile or at least stop it, because he's usually a very stoic and expressionless man, but the smile wins the battle easily and graces his face.

The floor is white tile, and the walls are also a pure white. Everything in the room is either white or silver, and you would think people would've been blinded by just how white everything was.

But, then again, the couple isn't really paying attention to the interior decorating of the hospital room.

"Have you thought of a name yet?"

The woman doesn't look away from that bundle in her arms, doesn't see the doctors ginger hair pulled back or her evergreen eyes. All the woman sees are the hazel eyes, creamy skin, and tufts of wispy brown hair.

"Remus. Remus John Lupin."

oXXXwsXXXo

February 9th, 2000

7:59 p.m.

Red runs from the deeply etched lines in the pale flesh. It hurt. Bot god did it make him feel alive. Fingertips pressed down, soon stained with the crimson blood expelled from the seven lines carved into his left forearm.

They weren't getting in anytime soon. Not with the heavy, oak dresser pressed against the door, followed by his bed. Tomorrow was Sunday, (when those people went to church wearing 'nice' clothes. Why did people even bother going to a church?) so he didn't have to go in the yellow bus full of buzzing, happy (sickenly happy) children who talked about SpongeBob and did you see my new card I got from a Chocolate Frog last week? And other stupid rubbish like that. (stupid, stupid rubbish)

The red still bubbled through the slashes in his forearm, and for a millisecond panic pierced his heart like an arrow. Had he cut too deep? This was his first time, after all, and it certainly wouldn't be his last. He'd need this…technique (?) in the future. Definitely. Yes, it bloody hurt like hellfire, but it made him alive. It was helpful. It worked.

Still, it wasn't like he was suicidal, (right?) so shouldn't he be covering the slices in his skin, try and stanch the bleeding or something like that? He wasn't suicidal…right? He'd done this because…because…well, he was sure he'd had a reason when he'd done it. Did he want to die? (yesyesyesyes) The world slightly spun, like a carousel, colours contrasting in and out.

The door started to shake, something banging on it heavily, and a loud, angry voice (always angry. Always so, so angry) was shouting about a useless fucker who was worthless and I why the fuck didn't I pull out of that dirty little cunt (that filthy whore) that I'd married for some goddamned stupid reason I'll never fucking know, (filthywhorefilthywhore) but I'm gonna fucking kill ya and fucking rip off your arms and you fucker and-

The nine year old boy closes his eyes, back against the slightly vibrating dresser pressed against the door, black hair a mess, left forearm and right hand painted with blood. Nothing made sense. He wished everything would stop, and that everyone would just shut the fuck up already and let him curl up I the darkest corner, in the bleakness, in the shadows, in his misery, and die.

Sirius Hawkes just didn't care anymore.

oXXXwsXXXo

March, 2013

There's blood everywhere, splattered on the walls and floors in messy splotches. It's thick too, not thin and slightly watery, but the type that slowly oozes out, lethargically gushes out of wounds. The windows are shattered, broken glass shards scattered on the splintered, wooden floor. Cobwebs have swathed themselves in the shadowy corners of the broken room and in the wire spring bedframe that's missing a mattress.

For a second, he thinks it's a horror movie. One with a terrible plot, horrific actors, a director who fucks things up, cheesy special effects. Add a cliché monster, and the fact that people never look up, and _bam!_ there's a bloody horror movie, wrapped up with a perfect bow taped on it.

He turns, wrists suddenly clamped on by pale, ice cold hands. The fingers dig into his veins, threatening to stop the circulation, and the face's features are strangely blurred for some reason. But it's not Slenderman, because he can still make out the dark green eyes that glow with seething hatred and venomous anger. Ice seems to be crawling into his bloodstream from where the fingers are digging into his veins and skin like a fire that's gone out of control, and the shards of ice have pierced into his pounding heart like spears.

Then the bright red light headed towards in a jagged streak strikes, and he screams.

oXXXwsXXXo

He bolted up, breathing hard and sweat coating the back of his blue-grey V-neck. His throat felt strangely ragged, (had he been screaming again? Fuck…) and in the blackness of his room he was slightly disoriented. He looked over to his right and saw the lime green 6:30 a.m., annoying and constant beeping finally registering in his frazzled mind.

Sirius Black had never been more relieved to hear the sound of the damn alarm.

Just in case anyone is confused by this, Sirius Hawkes and Sirius Black are the same person. That will be explained later on in the story. Also, I'm American. My knowledge of how British people speak comes from Harry Potter, Dr. Who, and Sherlock.

Thank you for reading! Loved it? Wanted it to go shoot itself? Review anyway!


	2. Chapter 2

I meant to post this last week, but I just got into high school and things have been crazy busy! I have officially survived the first week of being a freshmen, and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

I think this chapter is okay-ish, nothing too special. I mean, I guess this could be considered a filler chapter or the calm before the storm…

Disclaimer- I own Harry Potter and everything about it. In another universe.

He really needed to find a job.

Sirius wasn't exactly sure why it hit him then, when the only furniture he'd been able to set up was his bed and his alarm clock the previous day before he'd crashed. Maybe the Ministry would give him a job. He was, a Pureblood, after all, and the Ministry seemed to accept Purebloods above half-bloods, or God forbid, a 'mudblood'. As if the world needed another judgmental, close-minded government.

He grabbed his wand and silently cast a spell, unpackaging all the boxes and setting things up neatly all around the house. It wasn't a massive house, two bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, and a living room, plus it was two stories tall. At least it was bigger than his old, crowded apartment a few cities over. His friend, Eva Winchester, had pushed him to move out of that apartment complex after the police had arrested three people who were living on the same floor as him for something to do with mixing illegal drugs into potions meant to heal. Eva had moved from America because 'she'd gotten bored as hell there'. He should probably buy an owl soon too, because he didn't have a phone…

There was a sudden knocking at his front door, and Sirius jumped at the unexpected noise. "Jesus…" he walked down the stairs and to the door, then inhaled before opening it.

A couple who looked to both be in their late 30's, early 40's, is there. The woman had brown hair that's pulled back into a messy bun, eyes like emeralds, and she wore black jeans and a white blouse. The man had brown hair, serious brown eyes that could probably cut through diamond, and he wore a suit.,

"You just moved here, yes?" The woman said with a cheerful voice.

"Yeah, got here yesterday, actually. I'm Sirius Black."

The woman smiled tightly, then said warmly, "I'm Evelyn Lupin, and this is my husband John Lupin." John silently stuck out his hand for Sirius to shake, and at the touch it was freezing cold. "We also have a son Remus, but he's at school right now. He's eighteen, you know."

There was a burst of something in John's eyes that lasted for a second, and then it was gone. Sirius decided to ignore it and took it as annoyance.

"We wanted to know if you'd like to come over for dinner," John said, face expressionless. "If you can, of course,' Evelyn added in quickly, eyes darting a little over to her husband.

"Uhm, sure, I could come over later. You guys are to the…"

"To the left of here."

"Okay, yeah. Thanks."

The couple turned to leave, but not before Evelyn shot him a smile and John said how it was a pleasure to meet him. The door shut, and Sirius let out a _woosh!_ of air. He'd had worse and far more awkward introductions before.

oXXXwsXXXo

He went to Diagon Alley and bough a pitch black owl ("'Er name's Cora. Be careful, though; she bites.") along with several other magical things that he probably didn't need, like the Automatic Firecrackers and several packages of assorted candies rom Honeydukes.

Sirius also discovered that nearly everyone who lived on his street was there too, either working or walking around and looking through things to buy. Desmira Todd and her fiancé Crystal Addec were the first to recognize him and bubbly introduced themselves. They were set to get married in June. Tilia Tays was rushing around, trying to get medicine for her sick son, and she had hurriedly said that she lived two houses down from Sirius before Apparating away. Gabriel Vedidas was working in the Leaky Cauldron, and he had told Sirius about how his father had once been a hippogriff trainer. And Natasha Royals was expecting her firstborn with her boyfriend Rory.

It was a bit overwhelming for him, meeting all these new people and learning a bit of each other, but Sirius was used to the feeling of constant information rushing all around.

_"…-lda fuckin' pulled out, ya-"_

He blocked out the angry voice, pushing it back . Nope. Not tonight, not ever again. He looked up at a clock on the wall of a shop and realized it was nearly six already. John and Evelyn were probably waiting for him to go over. In an instant he was back at his house, and after dropping off Cora and his things he headed off to the Lupin's house.

oXXXwsXXXo

Dinner with the Lupin's was…not as suspected. There were the simple questions, ("Where'd you move from?" "Have you met anyone else from the neighbourhood?") and then there were the harder questions ("Do you have any relatives nearby?" "What do your parents do?") that he'd lied on. Remus didn't speak, just toyed around with his food and had this strange look on his face. He was skinny, was of normal height, had brown hair that looked like it had been spikey but had gotten mushed somehow, and hazel eyes.

Sirius left at 7:30, but not before Evelyn shoved some cookies with chocolate chunks in a basket into his hands. "I'm not a witch, so these are non-magical cookies!" she'd said cheerfully, shooting another white smile at him.

And now he was feeding Cora, trying to figure out the Lupin family. They seemed normal, but…there had been this sort fo air at dinner that had shrouded around them. John seemed to be all business and very serious, Evelyn appeared to be a very sweet lady (perhaps a bit _too _sweet), and Remus seemed to be skittish, quiet, and shy, and maybe a bit annoyed at having a stranger in his house for a hour or so.

But who was he to judge a family he barely knew?

A/N* Blegh. I dunno abouth this chapter…the next chapter will have a bit more action in it and won't be this boring swear to God.

Thanks for reviews/favs/follows!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for not posting this for about a week or something like that…

Disclaimer- Is this part necessary? Cuz I really don't own it.

The blade clattered down onto the wooden floor, tiny drops of blood speckling the smooth wood. From the angry red lines freshly carved into his flesh, crimson life liquid oozed out slowly. His wand was on the cabinet near his door, and he wondered why he'd never thought to use it instead of a blade.

"…fucking faggot…"

"…your best behavior for Mummy, or do you want to go back into the black room? Hmm?"

"…son will not be a faggot, fucking other…"

Pale fingers pressed down in the bleeding lines, increasing the pain and blood oozing out. Outside, the rain poured down, lightning streaking the sky and thunder shouting in its low voice. Rain crashed onto every surface available, pounding onto his one, small window that let in slivers of sunlight or lunar rays. Goddamn moon. Especially on a full moon night. His mum had once read the picture book 'Goodnight Moon' when he had first been bitten as a sort of cruel joke. Fucking bitch.

He looked down at his mutilated arm, almost mesmerized by the blood flowing down the pale flesh. He suddenly remembered how he used to tear the wallpaper down from his walls when he couldn't sleep when he was younger, and how the habit had morphed into attacking the walls with knives, scissors, and spells. That had been when he had been ten, and after a year of doing that he had realized it didn't help. Then he realized that physical pain washed away the internal agony, even if it only lasted for a few moments.

Lightning threatened to shatter the sky as it cracked again, snapping him out of his self-destructive mind set for a second. He knew what was wrong with him, his 'family', (family? What the hell did that word even mean?) but he didn't want to change anything about it. Or maybe…maybe he just had no idea how to change anything. Maybe God wasn't letting him change because God felt that he didn't deserve something like that. (Or maybe God just didn't give a fuck about a miserable creature like him.)

'Freak', the lines on his arm spelled out in gory letters. Remus looked at the word and couldn't agree more.

Please R&R, and thanks in advance for any follows/favs/reviews. Sorry this chapter was so short…


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